Freedom News

London squatting opportunity of the week – 9.2 seconds to make you a time-lord property millionaire

This week on Freedom News blatant rip-off of a much more successful and better written Vice column, we commemorate 10 years since the criminalisation of squatting in residential buildings by George F glibly presenting housing opportunities for those who would wish to take them and by asking – how secure is your door?

London squatting opportunity of the week – a piss-drenched terrace in Whitehall

Suddenly available after it’s previous occupant spontaneously combusted leaving only a pair of ruby slippers and the stench of burning housing insulation, this property in Whitehall is admittedly a fixer-upper. Full disclosure: in recent years tenants had to be forcibly removed for rowdy parties and anti-social behaviour, and the place positively reeks of piss and chardonnay, but the building itself has previously a long and esteemed history as a fuck-palace of the elite.